Paranatural 36

in ,

<Read as a song from the Village People>

Previously on

STEPHEN! Had a need to feel down

I said STEPHEN! Tricked by a mascot type clown

I said STEPHEN! Went to the rich part of town

And he Gave! Up! His! Dog! To Them!

That’s When! He found out they were lies!

And then STEPHEN! He went back there to spy

That Those PEOPLE! Who were trash in disguise

They were Use!Ing! Those! Mutts! For! Cash!

dun dun dun dun dun

It’s time to go start a

REVOLUTION!

Stephen go start the Dog

RETRIBUTION!

He’ll do everything, for those dogs to be freed

Then he’ll have all the pets he need

in ,

Paranatural 34

<red like the main narrator from Stand By Me>

Previously on

While me and my friends were in school plying one of the most deadliest games of hitball in probably the history of the world, Stephen was off in the world.

He missed that day; got suspended for trying to break us out of detention with the principal’s car.

Stephen always had the crazy ideas. He would always be down for any stunts Johnny would come up with, and push them further to the extreme. Part of it might be due to all of the conspiracy theories that he believes in. But I think that that is where his charm comes from, his willingness to believe.

While suspended, Stephen went off exploring the town, as we were wont to do back then. Eventually, he found his way under a bridge, where he ran into a teenage gang from Mayview Academy picking on a dog. Feeling righteous anger, Stephen had taken onto himself to defend the dog.

Defeating his opponent, as well as catching the interest of the gang leader, Stephen grabbed the dog and ran for safety. Now his goal, while away from any noticeable danger, is to return the dog to its owner for a possible reward.

Paranatural 33

in ,

<read as a diary entry>

Dear

Yesterday was a long day. 

Isabel finally beat Hijack out of Spender. Hijack thought he was going to die, and I did too, but Isabel was nice. She let him go. I thought it was sweet of her, but it turns out it didn’t matter anyway.

That creepy guy hanging out in the hallway? Turns out he was a vampire and was going to kill Hijack. But then Cody turned up and convinced him not to, only for Cody to kill him anyway! And get this, That Vampire Guy is Cody’s dad, so Cody is half vampire, AND he is also the mysterious Student Council President. I never suspected him.

Zarei tried to find Hijack, but didn’t get there in time. I guess she has a horrible past with the Vice Principal though. I get it, she can be such a witch sometimes!!

Isabel, Max, Isaac, and Ed managed to sort out their differences. Isaac now knows the secret ghost information, and they are planning on working together as a team.I’m glad.

Things are looking brighter.

Paranatural 32

in ,

<read as a fairy tale>

Once Upon a Time In

image

There lived a young boy (like, stupidly young boy), who always dreamed of being a hero just like his mother.

After learning about the misfortune of his older brother, he set of exploring to find out who was the culprit, leading him to impersonate his mother’s former friend.

However, the guardian of the friend was displeased, and showed the terrible secret the friend was keeping inside him, stating that the end of this fairy tale will be one in tragedy, regardless of what the friend tries.

The boy disagreed. While he has caused nothing but trouble since entering this quest, he believes that there will still be a happy ending. If the friend won’t be able to make it, then his students will.

The boy and the guardian decided to become partners, but the students discovered the boy, and knows that he is not the friend who they care for.

Though the boy tried to run, he soon becomes outnumbered. But the boy realizes that this is the perfect opportunity to show the guardian that the students were able and willing to work together to beat the odds. The boy cast himself into the villain role and fought the students, all while encouraging them to fight back and win.

As they prepare to land the final blow, the guardian gave the boy one last chance to flee. However, the boy resigns to his fate, to prove that there is still hope in them yet.

Paranatural 30

in , ,

<Read as karkat>

cg: ALRIGHT YOU FUCKING GRUBS

cg: I’M BEING CURRENTLY FORCED FOR SOME UNGODLY REASON TO TALK TO YOU TURDS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED BACK THEN, EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN JUST GO FUCKING BACK AND READ IT YOURSELVES

cg: I GUESS YOU LOST YOUR EYES AND CAN’T LICK THE SCREEN LIKE TEREZI CAN

cg: SO PREVIOUSLY ON PARANTAURAL

image

cg: I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THE FUCKING LOGO IS RIGHT THERE SO FUCK YOU I GET TO SAY TITLE

cg: ANY WAY, THE LAME SHIT STARTS OUT WITH THE RED AND GLASSES MOIRAILS TALKING ABOUT FEELINGS AND THEN START BEING ACTUALLY FUCKING DECENT AND BEGIN TO FUCKING KILL AN ADULT TRASH HUMANS

cg: ACTUALLY, ALL OF THE HUMANS IN FOCUS START TO GET INTO A FIGHT, WHICH IS ABOUT FREAKING TIME THAT THEY ACTUALLY SHOW OFF SOME BACKBONE.

cg: BUT THEN THEY DON’T EVEN FUCKING FINISH THEM OFF

cg: THE TRIO OF DIPSHITS MANAGED TO CAPTURE THEIR TARGET, BUT ALL THEY GET ARE SHITTY STARS? WHAT FUCKING CONSOLATION PRIZE IS THAT?!

cg: THEN THE ORANGE DOUCHE OF BREATH DOES WIND ATTACKS BUT CAN’T SEEM TO FUCKING ATTACK FOR SHIT

cg: AND HIS LUSUS IS INSIDE OF HIM SO WHILE BADASS IT IS BASICALLY SHIT LETTING HIS HUMAN GET CAPTURED BY A TREE HOW LAME IS THAT

cg: SO HE’S FUCKING DEAD

cg: THE GIRL AND HER ADULT HUMAN LUSUS ACTUALLY FUCKING WORKED TOGETHER TO LEAVE THE ROOM 

cg: BUT THAT’S ALL THEY DID

cg: WHAT KIND OF FUCKING LIFE OR DEATH STRUGGLE DO THEY HAVE TO JUST LEAVE THE ROOM? ARE THEIR MORTAL ENEMIES DOORS?? WATCH OUT FOR THE SPLINTER, IT CAN KILL US ALL!

cg: THEN THE ONLY DECENT HUMAN THAT I CAN SOMEWHAT RELATE TO ON THE LEVEL OF DISLIKING THE REST OF THIS BULLSHIT EXCUSE OF A HIVE IS FIGHTING A LUSUS WITH HIS OWN LUSUS AND THOROUGHLY EXPOSING THE STUPIDITY THAT CURRENTLY INHABITS THE BRAIN OF THEIR OFFICER

cg: THE SWEATY ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE THE HUMAN VERSION OF EQUIUS

cg: I NEVER THOUGHT HE COULD BE LAMER THAN WHAT HE ALREADY WAS BUT IT LOOKS LIKE THIS PLACE HAS PROVEN ME WRONG

cg: THAT’S ABOUT IT SO FUCK OFF

Paranatural 29

in ,

<Read as Cecil Palmer>

Wait until the dust has settled. If you walk out too early, you could attract its attention.

Welcome to

image

( A Ballad of Fiedler and Mundt plays)

Monday: Mayview Middle School implements a total dictatorship through the Student Council, where all shall attend their bake sales and band concerts or face a terrible and grusome end.

Tuesday: A young fledgling rebellion continues to sparks as children take up their stars and geometry to plan the downfall of a mysterious tyrannical ruler.

Wednesday: Two children converse with each other. They talk of things that only children could talk of, thinks the adults, not realizing that they to could think about such things.

“I know who you are” says the girl.

“No you don’t” replies the boy, who is not as the girl thinks he is.

“You are like me” continues the girl.

“Not entirely,” states the boy, unaware that on some level he is like her and of the things she says. Or he is aware and chooses to ignore it. Or he is aware and chooses to act on it. After all, there are only those three options to choose from.

Thursday: You find a friend! Well, more of a pet than a friend. And more dead than alive. But that’s ok, because if it is dead then the chances of it leaving becomes that much smaller. And hey, it knows dance moves. That’s something right? Right??

Friday: The school board is starting their bake sale for the Rehabilitated Rats program. Rats who have given up on life, but after lots of therapy and art lessons have now taken to life anew. The director states that if they managed to raise $1000, the rats will complete a 7ft tall match stick statue of William Debou. So go support a good cause Mayview, and save a lemon square for me.

This has been the community calendar.

Paranatural 28

in ,

<Read as a Star Trek>

Captain’s Logs, Star Date:

Zarei was having a gay panic attack from being on a maybe date with Day and having Day possibly finding out about her secret experiment, all without realizing that Day was listening in onto her spirit talk.

Max managed to get out of the strangle hold of Suzy’s blackmail, only to find himself in Lisa’s web of debt. Frustrated, he calls our for the person who gave him the note, only to find Cody wanting to talk to him.

Johnny and RJ approach Ed about them “flying.” Ed agreed to allow Johnny to fight him, but Johnny was so hesitant that it boosted Ed’s esteem and allowed him to fight back and defeat them both.

Now it is time to boldly go where many have gone before: Middle School

Paranatural 27

in ,

<Wait what do you mean I have to this intro? I don’t even know the series! And the last time I tried to take another shows intro I was sent in the hospital for 4 broken limbs. It wasn’t, it wasn’t pleasant let me tell you. Well, fine, whatever. So long as I get paid, or a decent magazine subscription to Evil Lair Monthly. I may not be evil anymore, but they have some nice interior designers at work.

Wait? I’m rambling? Yeesh, so pushy.

Alright, ok, please read this as Dr. HEINZ DOOFENSHMIRTZ! *lightening cracks* hey, when can we afford lightening for this?>

Previously On

image

Baseball Hat Kid wants to go to this one place called a Student Store, but it is a saloon for children. Who writes the school’s budget to build a place like this? At least the bald one has a decent job working at a saloon. It reminds me of when I was a bar stool back when I was young. I would get paid 2 potatoes a day for people to sit on me while ordering food. At least it was better than being a lawn gnome.

So, I guess the kids are investigating their teachers now? The one glasses kid was following Starchman. He’s a nice guy, I met him in bakery class, makes great danishes. But glasses kid then got distracted and I guess kidnapped? Didn’t really say what happened next after that.

A girl and a really tall guy were following another teacher, and I guy they had some issues that they needed to work through. Oh boy, could I share my own stories. Anyway, they look fine and made up, although that one guy shouldn’t be wearing sunglasses inside. Who does that? Maybe I hit him with my Inconsiderate-inator, because that is a really inconsiderate thing to do to wear sunglasses indoors.

So the next child, the Orange Pointy one, he was following his teacher through lunch and oh boy, he has a lot of anger going on in that little body of his. I mean, I can be angry too, but it is more of a gruff anger than an anger anger. Like, he is as angry as my evil doppelganger from the other dimension. And I guess his inner cloud monster says that they are being followed or something? This place is weird let me tell you that.

Finally we see this really scary looking doctor lady going on a date with a pretty lady (how cute) but she seems to be looking for information and mysteries in this town. This town is weird, as I’ve stated before, so it would make sense for something like this to happen. But I guess Doctor Lady doesn’t like these questions because that is what she is looking to, that’s where we left off. At those two ladies, on a maybe information date.

Time for the story now, thanks for listening.

(oh…paranormal supernatural, I just got the title. Yeah, makes a lot more sense now. )

Paranatural 26

in ,

<Read as the into to Courage the Cowardly Dog>

We interrupt your program to bring you

MAX and the

image

Club.

Staring Max! And his Paranatural Club.

Going to school like regular.

They were attacked by Hijack

A spirit who was possessing Jeff

and currently an unknowing teacher (erg)

What dastardly deeds is Hijack planning?

It’s up to the Club to save their school!

(stupid ghosts, you made me look bad!)

Paranatural 23

in ,

<Read As Lin Manuel Miranda>

Previously On

Hijack’s on the attack targeting the Jang

Knocking Cody out before he changes the game

Hitball hits a wall as players ball’s are misplaced

in face of a foe the kids going toe-to-toe have never faced

But Max won’t relax not without a fight

and stop Hijack’s tracks and end their plight

With victory in sight, his pain was not in vain

gain allies to surprise and end Hijack’s reign

But the coach return to learn the burn Max felt

And scrounge Jeff to teacher’s lounge with Max now bound

to the infirmary for injury to fix and let it be

What’s going to happen next? Well we’ll just have to wait and see

Paranatural 22

in ,

<read as Billy Mays>

Hi! Billy Mays Here. And today we are going to talk about what happened previously on

While being blackmailed by Suzy, Max got hit with the Snich Ball and was forced to switched to Johnny’s team. However, as he traveled Puppet-Jeff made his mode and threw a ball so powerful that it dented the bleachers and put everyone on edge. The Activities Club realize that whatever controlling Jeff is not a usual spirit. While waiting for some adults to step in, the kids take it to themselves to try and stop Jeff within the game. Currently, the plan is to take out Cody, who is viciously protecting Jeff.

Paranatural 21

in ,

<read as Dracula, the Bela Lugosi version>

Previously on Paranatural

The bullies failed to get any useful information from Jeff, leaving him behind to be possessed and taken over by an unsavory spirit who wants to enter the teacher’s lounge. Isaac tried to convince Max that he owes him a friendship, but Max shuts that down quickly. Then it shifts to Gym Class where many many children play a game of dodgeball. Ed still feels guilty and left out from Isabel, resulting in him “saving” her from a ball, leading Johnny to identify Ed as one of the floating-people he saw the night before.

Now let’s see who shall become the victors! Bleh!

Paranatural 20

in ,

<read as Elmo>

Previously on

Everyone is feeling sad. Max is sad because he can’t go out of town. Isabel is sad because she couldn’t tell anyone about her bite and tried to take medicine. Spender is sad because he couldn’t figure out what the locket is for. Isaac is sad because he is still left ALL Alone. Doorman is sad because he let Spender discover his identity. And Doc is suspicious over what really happened on the train. 

Now let’s see Max and Isabel become better friends!

Paranatural 19

in ,

<read as me actually trying to recap this from memory>

Previously on

(thought of a new logo change. nice, right?)

So…Max was on the train, visited snake town and was almost eaten, then got knocked out and met with BL in his dream who said that she shouldn’t have been able to do that cause Max might die. She wanted Max to be his spy, but he refused, and he woke up magnetically stuck on the track.

Isabel managed to get the dogs taken care of, Spender actually defeated Forge, but got distracted by Max’s death scream so Forge managed to get away. Luckily Agent Day arrived, made the train fell in love with Max, and they were saved. Until Spender and Lucifer lost control over whatever shadow tentacle monster is inside of him almost got out. Scary times.

They rode back on the train, feeling strained, tired, and distrustful as the group separately learns about more secrets. When they get back to town, the train freaked out over its injuries, making another agent destroy the train, only to trap every spectral inside the barrier. 

Lucifer chews out Spender who decides to become more of a workaholic, Gramps chews out Isabel for losing the book. Isaac becomes more distrustful of the organization around him and the club, and Max becomes traumatized over the nights events. 

Side Story: Johnny and his Gang saw the Activities Club basically fly so all of them know for sure that there is superpowers afoot. And Forge decided to hitch  ride by secretly possessing Johnny, thus passing through the barrier.

So yeah, time for the next chapter!!

Paranatural 18

in ,

<Read as old western cowboy>

Previously on

Max found himself face to face with his snake spirit, who he accidently enraged. When he fell off the train, he sees a memory of his mother and meets the Paranatural Activity Consortium leader B.L. She offers to remove the parasitic snake grunge-spirit, and for Max to assist the incoming internal investigation officer, both of which Max declines, due to a lack of trust for her.

Now the finish up their meeting inside Max’s mind.