1. Porrim
2. Meenah
3. Aranea
4. Meulin
5. Latula
6. Kankri
7. Rufioh
8. Mituna
9. Damara
10. Kurloz
11. Horuss
12. Cronus
This is like, the fastest I have ever changed the Troll Rank Ever.
So thanks fucking Rufioh. You think you can actually be decent enough to break up with Horuss first before you start hitting on someone else? Way to just fuck up my rank like this geez. I had believed in you Rufioh.
1. Porrim
2. Meenah
3. Aranea
4. Rufioh
5. Meulin
6. Kankri
7. Latula
8. Mituna
9. Damara
10. Kurloz
11. Horuss
12. Cronus
And So, we now have the complete set, of Troll Rank Alpha.
So we met the last 3 remaining trolls. And they left an impact.
Let’s go with the one I like more first.
Rufioh seems like the most normal person there is out of the Alpha Trolls. He has incecurities like Tavros, but just talks like a normal guy. He isn’t as assertive as you would think, but he also doesn’t hold back either. I get the thing of just keeping your happy thoughts (his lucus) and just enjoying his interests.
Of course, his lack of assertiveness can be argued as his own downfall. Because he couldn’t break up with Damara before the game started (which lead to his rendezvous with Horuss in the forest), Meenah’s prodding pushed them all to the edge that ended with Damara snapping and Rufioh a centaur body (at least, I hoped he had arms).
But, it is hard to judge on backstory like this because they aren’t in-depth as the Beta-trolls. So while I know that he was cheating on Damara, I don’t think it was done out of malice. And until it was shown otherwise, those are my thoughts. So Rufioh is number 4.
Damara….she intimidates me. First, because I had no idea what she was saying and her faces were creeping me out, like she knows that I don’t know what she said. Then…when I actually translated what she said (and I did off screen) OH BOY the things she said.
So like Aradia, they both lost their feelings/abilities to emote. But while Aradia died to feel like that, Damara had her heart broken, lost her mind by Meenah, and has thrown herself into sexual debauchery. Not saying that sex can’t be good, but when everything you say was some form of demanding sex like that…just saying.
Then, she wants to serve English? So….I guess Aranea was right, their adult lives got to fulfill the dreams of their alpha-selves. I find it funny that, given the choice Damara would have picked to serve English. But when trapped and raised by Scratch she just wanted to bust out of there.
So Damara is low because of how she intimidates me…..a lot.
And Horuss….god. How the hell were the Beta-versions better than the Alphas? I…I can’t deal with this guy. Steampunk: Cool. Steampunk Pony Play: Alright…. Steampunk Horsekin with extreme bloodcaste issues moreso than probably Equius:…..nooo
He is dating Rufioh and it is like in his head it is like a shitty romance novel of the highclass person falling in love with a commoner, so he is still fetishizing blood. He does ton of backhanded compliments to Rufioh about how it is good he is trying to “learn his place”. Still hates Damara for her blood, and follows whatever Meenah says with no regards.
The only reason I have him higher that Cronus is because he was actually being sincere with his love and affection to Rufioh….and I still can’t tell if that makes it worse or not.
So there we go. I am not sure if this list is going to be changing anytime soon.
Also, Kankri went down one, because he is just wearing me down with his ill-attempts to play peace-maker.
I just got their ages. If the Alpha Trolls were in the game for 3 sweeps, that’s 6 years, so these guys are 19 right now.
1. Porrim
2. Meenah
3. Aranea
4. Kankri
5. Meulin
6. Latula
7. Mituna
8. Kurloz
9. Cronus
Yeah…..you may have notice, but the new trolls stayed at the bottom this time around. They just didn’t jump out at me unlike the others like Kankri and Porrim.
Meulin was cute. A little TOO excited though. Like, if Nepeta is a fangirl, Meulin is a weeb. She can get too intense, but I love how she loves to still ship people. And that she can sign like no tomorrow. I was debating on having her higher than Kankri, but I’m not going to lie, I like that santamonious little bastard a little more. He is an ass, but he doesn’t know he is an ass, which makes him fun to be with. So Meulin is right under.
Latula is pushed down, and Mituna is pushed below that. I mean, they seem like nice people. But, I’m just not that interested. Latula is a bit hard on the radness. And Mituna…..terrifies me. Not that I am genuinely scared of him, but that I don’t know how to deal with him. He has Sollux’s bipolar on ghost steroids and I wouldn’t know how to approach him if I met him in real life.
I don’t know if him skating was his idea, or if Latula pushed him into it…..but if they are still dating, they are still dating. They make it work.
Next is Kurloz. Listen, I am not blind. I know shady demonic clown shit is going on with him. How he maybe was the one to cause Mituna his bipolar issues. I get that, I am not viewing him with rose-colored glasses. But, he is aesthetically interesting, silently snarky with the middle finger flip, is kind to Meulin. His magic powers of clown cults and team-up with Gamzee is what put him low in the list. His other positive qualities is what is keeping him from the bottom of that list.
And Finally, last in the Rank is Cronus. I wish he just ate babies like the greek god. Why? Why the fuck are both the Aquarius Trolls fucking tools? I daresay that Cronus is even worst that Eridan. At least with Eridan he isn’t trying to hide who he was. He was royal-blood. He dressed and acted like a prince. An Ass Prince, but a prince.
Cronus, he is saying that he doesn’t care about being royal or wealthy etc etc, but he has rings and blings to subtly show that he still is? That he tries to be poetic and tragic and that he is a tortured musican, but then turns around and belittles everyone he meets for screwing up his “supposed” chance with someone else. Yeah, don’t think I forgot that conversation with Mituna. Hell, that is more/less why he is at the bottom. For being such a “Nice Guy™“ in the trashiest way possible.
….and I don’t even know how to address/approach his supposed species dysphoria by saying he is humankin. I know he isn’t, I know that he did this to try and get, idk sympathy points to people’s pants. But now Kankri somehow convinced him to continue to believe it so here we are I guess.
God the fish-people bloodlines are a problematic bunch.
New troll rank, new tags, this time with LEGIT ALPHA TROLLS.
1. Porrim
2. Meenah
3. Aranea
4. Kankri
5. Latula
Meeting more trolls here is a dream come true. Man do I love these guys.
Porrim is so fucking cool. Fucking Gothic Vampire Queen. Chill, mature, fights for her rights as a woman and against gender roles. Rocking tattoos, piercings, another badass fashionista. God she is a fucking dream. Not only that, but she speaks her mind, and doesn’t put up with bullshit. And she also has another mothering instinct in her, like Kanaya, and a need to care for Kankri, while not putting up with his shit. I love that. I love her. I need more of her please yes thanks.
Meenah is still second, and Aranea is third, and pretty easy to explain. Meenah is a fun wild card, has a plan and will take charge and follow her plan. Which involves violence and explosions. I respect those things when pointed in the right direction (like Lord English’s Turtle head). Plus, it is fun to watch her act so baller.
Aranea is fun to be with, loves to tell stories, and is overall really nice. Of course I would love her. But Meenah’s excentric nature and Porrim’s aura of cool tops her.
Kankri. Fucking love him. He is such a doof. He is fucking cute in looks. He goes on about his culture’s peace problems (fucking knew there would be problems), genuinely cares about the issues of marginalization that he is talking about. (Anyone who can talk that much has to care). Is concern with keeping with trigger warnings (which I appreciate). He wants to be a “big boy” and taken seriously when he talks, only to really just be a kid. It is just so cute overall.
So why 4th? First, I just like the other trolls better. A lot.
Second, yeah he can be a bit of a self-entitled ass. Like praising how Latula managed to live her life without smelling and pointing it out like how she is able to live her life, when Latula didn’t really like her life being pointed out like that and making her feel self-conscious.
Or pushing aside Porrim’s feelings on her gender issues because they weren’t as important as the other issues. Not saying that there weren’t a lot of problems to address, just that he could have had some tact addressing other people’s feelings and not force feed his own hero-complex to everyone.
So, I love the Karkat things about him (rage-face, in-depth lectures on his topics), but he can learn not to be the SJW negative stereotype here.
Finally, Latula. She reminds me a lot of Dippy Fresh. Like, she is the stereotype fun rad cool guy, but by leaning it in on how rad she is, she isn’t as cool. I don’t know, she seems fine. Enjoys life and doesn’t take it too seriously, so I don’t exactly hate her. But I don’t exactly like her either.