I just want everyone to know, regardless of what happens, I will go out and find these two fanfics after reading homestuck.

Hello god-machine. What horrible things will we create today?

Ah yes, the Double D’s, how threatening.

You won’t be joking for long when you find out Kyle went out to steal your man.

I love how this reads like a probable actual fanfic that someone out there has to have written already for Dirk/Jake, only for Kyle to fucking steal the spotlight at the end.

It seems that you have a stick in your ass for not liking my phrasing. Do you have a stick in your ass?

I love him adding that last 4 in, so sassing.

And really, Dirk is probably a japanese fish right now…..because he is so fucking koi

I like the idea of Dirk wearing Kyle as a way to cover up the fact he is blushing. I don’t think he is blushing, but that mental image is very nice.

The sad thing is, that line could very well be in an erotic novel. Ever seen the Bad Sex in Fiction Award?

Nothing ever is in this game. I’ve seen it played out twice and I still get confused.

My Ego

See, when in one body, Dirk is a good multitasker. Just not when he is trying to control his dreamself too.

Yay the Jake thing! How do you plan to confess? A personalized Rap? A book on adventure? …asking why your wrestling robot is too touchy-feely?

So to sum up: Dirk is basically like Karkat, only instead of being annoyed and trolled by his past/future selves, he is annoyed by his other present self.

yeah that was a pretty bad line Kyle, what you just said right there.

I want Kyle to get a robot body so he can sweep Roxy off her feet, much to the cringe of Dirk. Please don’t let this be ironic.

Kyle can do things on his own that aren’t because of you Dirk. You aren’t the center of his life you know.

Right, Dirk thinks that they may be doing some flirting, but in reality they be gossiping about him. It still shouldn’t sit well with you since they are talking about your love life.

yeah bullshit. You were the one to stick with red in the first place, you made that decision regardless of how Roxy felt.

I love how it is the small things that can show AI individuality.

not so much as clean up her act as given her not-really cat a space-viking funeral that would but Mr. Spock’s to shame.