Cupid Trolls AU

So with all this talk about cherubs, it got me and the Discord thinking and pulling a collaboration on creating a new AU.

Basically, all of the trolls are cupids. Wings, arrows, and everything, set to spread love all over Earth.

But because they are trolls, there are 4 love quadrants. So there are 4 different types of arrows, one for each quadrant. Getting hit with a heart arrow will create flush feelings, getting hit with a spades arrow creates pitch feelings, etc etc.

cupid!Karkat is one of the best cupids around, knowing the ins and outs of all aspects of love and possible love situations. He is a master of all types of arrows, and uses them in a scientific manner to create the best possible relationships.

It doesn’t help that he keeps accidentally nicking himself with his own arrows, causing him to fall in love with his targets. (Luckily the arrow effects act more as a nudge than permanent love, so it eventually wears off to his usual grumpy self)

cupid!Nepeta is the shipping queen, so she also the master of all the arrows. She takes a more emotional approach to making couples, letting a bit of her fangirlness take over.

Because Nepeta and Karkat are the best cupids, they manage the others and give them assignments. Most would prefer Nepeta because she has the better drawing skills, thus making it easier to find what couple to match. (Karkat tries to act like it doesn’t bother him, but it does).

cupid!Equius is a Moirail Cupid, so only uses Diamond Arrows. Nepeta tries to help him out, but Equius usually ends up breaking the bow and arrow with his strength. To keep up with his work, he just opts to just punch the target with the arrow. This has the unintended effect of knocking out the target as well, but he takes what he can get.

cupid!Feferi is also a Moirail Cupid. She is not only one of the top cupids out there (behind Nepeta and Karkat), but the world’s view and lore of cupids matches Feferi practically perfectly. This makes her as the ideal cupids, and is an unofficial role model for others. 

Both cupid!Terezi and cupid!Vriska are Kismesis Cupids, wielding Spade Arrows. They actually work pretty well together, teaming up to make sure the couples get a “hate at first sight” moment. However, sometimes they will let their own competetiveness get the better of them and start working against each other to see who can match the most pitched couples.

cupid!Tavros is a Matesprit Cupid, who uses Heart Arrows. Though, because he doesn’t have much confidence in himself, he tends to miss the target more times than he hits. It doesn’t help when Vriska suddenly appears from time to time to try and “help” him.

cupid!Gamzee is also a Matesprit Cupid. However, because he keeps eating the clouds that they are on (no matter how many times Karkat yells at him otherwise), Gamzee is about as high as the clouds he keeps eating. The couples that he matches are actually inanimate objects. A car falls in love with a stop sign and refuses to move, a tree loves a house and crashes into it. Karkat swears that Gamzee made his socks fall in love with each other and ran away from his feet.

cupid!Sollux duel-wields. He has arrows for both Matesprit and Moirail Cupids., so he is able to match flush and pale couples. He still likes to keep his binary aesthetic, so he spray paints the Diamond Arrows a pale blue. Party because it makes it easier to pick out which arrows are which, party because it annoys the hell out of Karkat.

cupid!Eridan is a Matesprit Cupid, but hates it. He is able to shoot well and hit one of his targets. But before he can shoot the other, another cupid (usually Sollux) snags them for his own match-making. This results in Eridan’s target having unrequited feelings for the other couple.

This, combined with the fact that he can’t find love in his own life with the other cupids, made him decide to try and match couples for himself. He would steal arrows and shoot his personal targets to make them fall in love with him. This never works, with the target seeing someone or something else first before him, creating more unrequited love. Multiple times he had targets have flushed or pitched feelings for their own reflections.

Eridan doesn’t steal arrows from Karkat. Karkat counts them, and Eridan never manages to get away with it.

cupid!Kanaya is an Auspistice Cupid, so she uses Club Arrows. To make a proper Auspistice couple, she would find her target by an already pitched couple and shoot them. She would also shoot the 3rd party to prevent pitch infidelity, so would usually go out with Terezi and Vriska during their assignments. While she is the best Auspistice Cupid, she doesn’t exactly like her job. Especially when Vriska and Terezi compete into one another and use Kanaya to make sure their couples stay together (points don’t count if they break up).

This usually results to Kanaya periodically stealing Spade Arrows to prevent Pitch Couples, thus no longer requiring her to make an Auspistice. When this happens, Terezi and Vriska usually tone down their competitiveness so give Kanaya a break and get their arrows back.

Karkat blames Eridan for his missing arrows, and Kanaya never bothers to correct him.

cupid!Aradia isn’t actually a cupid at all. While physically she is a cupid, she was always more interested in death than love. So she decided to be a grim reaper and join the reaper ranks in collecting souls. She is still on friendly terms with everyone, and periodically tells them the lives of the souls she collects after they were hit with the arrows.