Caliborn Analysis

That Turtle Child was just waiting for his chance and preparing. I have no idea what he wants, because Sprites were not supposed to turn into black holes and just suck everything up. So SBURB is a cheat, or at the very least the Cherub’s game was rigged somehow.

I thought it was just going to be the sun. But no, literally everything.

If I am right that Caliborn == Lord English (Is that seriously his name? Really?) then he will eventually lose both of his eyes and replace them with magic eight-balls.

Given that he just chomped off his own leg, I don’t think he would care.

The sarcophegus was just floating though space like you do, which now brings me to like 3 different English versions.

1) Child!English doing his own thing.

2) The English that came out of the floating Sarcophegus to ghost world and just nuked E V E R Y T H I N G. I know that they were already dead, but that was still too much. They shouldn’t have to die like that.

3) The English that Scratch hatched out on Troll Planet. 

4) The Red Sun??????? (??????????????)

So, I am not sure how the timeline works for him. But it has to somehow.

Scratch said that English comes to doomed universes to eat/control or something, right? And that EnJ said that there can be only one Juju ever. So….English goes to doomed places to absorb and get that much stronger? That is the only thing that I can think of.

And this still doesn’t explain who sent out the space tracker for The Felt Gang (I haven’t forgotten about that thing, I am still waiting for answers)

But continuing, English killing everyone in the death bubble, which I guess everyone was only ever in one giant ass bubble with mini ones inside, (Explains how he was able to one-shot them all). Now, The Dark Gods, PM and Jack are trapped on one side, with everyone else on the other.

Dave’s glasses are cracked too, so it furthers my belief that the Gods out there are permanently separated. Meaning that Jack and PM are probably going to have to work together to get through it.

All in all, shit went down here, and it was pretty wack yo.

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I mean, my gut answer is a smartass answer which is to say Hussie. Because only a weirdo like him would be able to follow a convoluted scheme as this.

But I didn’t realize that there was a debate over who thought this through. Like, what, between Dirk and Kyle (Hal? Should I call him Hal now? I don’t even know)?

Personally, I don’t think that anyone really planned for this. Because Dirk sure as hell didn’t want Jane and Jake to be on Derse. So I think it was just improv. Homestuck’s version of Jazz.

Part 248 End

Yeah, sorry to just dip in then dip back out again. But this is sort of the best place to stop for this. I mean, it looks like we are about to go to another sidequest now, so that can be saved for later.

Also, wasn’t Sawtooth one of the Felt Henchmen? Or am I thinking of someone else.

Anyway, back to Dirk. He is going to give me a heart attack. I swear. From decapitating his own head, to give to Jake to kiss. I am glad Jake is alive, but Dirk, that seems Hella Unnecessary. He could have flown back to Jake, but I guess he is just extra like that.

All of the games are set up too with robots guarding/pulled in. So Dirk’s robot guards are in the dead planets.

I feel so bad for Jake since everyone just saw him kiss Dirk’s decapitated head. Jane would have no idea what that would mean. Roxy has some notion since she tried to do it with Jane (but Dirk stepped in like a boss) so she is more disgusted about how Jake managed to go through with it.

Well, with everyone there, that means that they are all together on Jake’s planet. And that means that They will all be together when John and Jade finally bust through the window that Jake stashed. So the group now becomes whole.

It sort of sucks that everyone is now on their last bodies, so they have to do through the stupid alternate way of becoming gods. For everyone but Jake, they can do the method that Rose and Dave did in finding their space beds. But Jake has to go through a different way. Hopefully it won’t be too hard.

And the lantern exploding when Dirk awoke after Jake kissed him…..not entirely sure what that means. I am thinking something good, but I am not sure.