And now: Insults of Lord English
He looks like a snapper turtle who got cooked in his shell
He looks like someone tried to make a shrunken skull of a Namekian while on the Namekian.
He looks like if a human and a spider alien tried to make a relationship work, but then when they saw the child, they just left him in the woods and agree to never call each other again.
His head hatched into that of a puppet head that got a seaweed facial that somehow melded into his skin so he is perma-green.
He is like if a puppet got Hulk powers, but has so many health issues you can’t even begin to think of a treatment to help him.
He looks like the 5th Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Snappy, but he got all the radioactive problems of the OOZE and they just flushed him down a sewer where he became a pirate
He looked like if a scientist wanted to try and bio-engineer an actual Audrey II, only the blood it was feed gave it a human head instead of a bulb
He looks like in the Swamp Thing watched Pinocchio and wanted to be a real boy, but just put on red dimples and called it good.
He looks like if a gremlin launched itself into kool-aid and instead of multiplying it grew into a gambler
He looks like if Davy Jones has a shitter brother Kelp Plank who’s goal in life is to just eat people. Not to steal gold or be ruthless, but eat people.
Please, feel free to reblog and add in your own insults to this hideous freak of nature that Satan himself would kick out of his house.