I can’t stop laughing, seriously. Con Air is going to save the world at this point. This is so fucking funny

“I have the best idea. I’m going to give her the rabbit”

Have to wait until next time John, to what I think would be Candy Corn’s first conversation with you

It’s Jade’s present, whatever it is. I’m sure of it!

I know that this is a deck of cards, but all I can think about is four square

There’s nothing else to say, this was a really well thought out metaphor you are using here. I applaud your explanation

I don’t know, I played Crash Bandicoot 3 when I was little and I thought it was ok. But I am liking the metaphor you are using right now Candy Corn

You know, it is harder than you think to think abstractly, just saying

How dare you insult the colonel. He gave his wealth to his children/John, be more respectful.

But yeah John, you are being a dumbass right now

ok, so reading this, the white pieces would be allies then, since it seems that you only need to kill the Black Queen and King.

But this means that since their is no more Black King or Queen for John’s session, they need to kill Jack instead. Who has both the powers of the Queen and King.

Shit

So what did the Trolls do differently to have Their Jack as an Ally, while John’s Jack is The BIg Bad?

Hell yeah he’s in charge! Trash Man is taking action!!!

“Daddy can I have a cookie?”

“Not now honey, Daddy is talking about the apocalypse right now”

oh shit Oh Shit OH SHIT OH SHIT! NOW ITS GETTING GOOD!!!

Either you watched the rabbit scene before talking to John and acknowledge the sentimentality that makes you sick, or after you talked to john and was going linearly, saw the rabbit scene and was like “nope, not talking to you then” and back tracked a few minutes

So that’s what this is all about? You need to kill the denizen/boss so that way it won’t kill your existence by killing the babies? That is a pretty elaborate way of assassination my dudes

And leave the babies to their fate I guess

I’m guessing it’s a no then. I guess John doesn’t want to hurt the items that the babies have, but you would think that John would take the items away before they get shipped

So I was right, Candy Corn confirmed it. John is going to give his rabbit away to the rest of the kids, which is why they had the rabbits to give back to john in the first place.

So were they just shipped out with the rabbits then?

Way to show your enthusiasm there John